Dear Reader,

Holidays in my family have always been something special. My mom, taking great care in decorating, wearing festive clothes, preparing excellent dishes, and doing her utmost to instill the spirit of the holiday (whichever it may be) with those around her. Thanksgiving is no exception.

Background…

That did not change during the pandemic but it did get much more difficult for my family to assemble… My stepdad had lost his job and he and my mom moved across country to greener pastures and a cheaper cost of living. Shortly after, one of my brothers moved to the same town as mom with his family effectively ending our short-lived “Pizza Friday” tradition (stories for another time…). Since then we have been faced with some logistical challenges around the holidays.

This year my wife and I decided it was important to go visit my family for at least one major holiday (a challenge given the distance and costs) and we settled on my personal favorite, Thanksgiving! My mother, god-bless her, had some airline mileage points she graciously exchanged for tickets for my family and for another brother of mine and his fiancé so we could try to assemble as much of the gang as possible for the holiday.

My stepdad had just finished undergoing a bout of chemo/radiation and was in recovery with the preliminary results being good so spirits were relatively high! Things were going well (family dynamics can get wild though…) and a friend of mine and I were driving over to my brother’s house for an evening hunting excursion when we drove passed a horrific scene.

I’ll spare you the details, but we had witnessed the aftermath of a hit and run where a man had lost his life. The day before Thanksgiving no less. The image of it is clear as day in my mind and will likely be there for some time (even now as I write this…). I recall instantly feeling a sense of loss for his family.

Reflecting…

Stoicism discusses the topic of death and tries to promote an acceptance of it which will help us lead a more fulfilling life without that unnecessary fear hanging over our heads.

Logically, death makes perfect sense. It is a natural part of a life. An inevitability. Life’s a race and we will all finish it at some point. Some of us will just do it faster than others and at a breakneck pace.

As a child, I vividly recall fearing death but primarily for my parents when they were out for the evening.

“Why are they late home? What if they got into a car accident and died? What would happen to my siblings and I? What would I do without my mom and dad?”

As a young man (teens to 20s), I don’t actually recall fearing death for myself or for others. It being a distant thought given I was clearly immortal…lol

As a father in my 30s, having experienced life more, I fear for my children…

Seeing that broken man and thinking about his family was a stark reminder that life is not guaranteed for any of us. At any moment, our ticket could be punched, our race called short…

But what does that mean for us and how should we deal with this bit of information? I’ll tell you what I did. I went home and I tried to make the most of my time with my family, drama and all. I attempted to live in the present so I could enjoy myself and my loved ones.

Nothing is guaranteed in this life (except for death and taxes). Knowing this, we would be wise to follow the sage advice of Marcus Aurelius and other stoics. And so I will leave you with with this story as a reminder and a quote.

Live in the present and without fear reader. Memento Mori.

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